First of all, I really hate this weather. Taunting me with spring for this long is just not nice! Life would be so much more fun if it decided a too be warm outside! It would be so much more comfortable. I'm really starting to get claustrophobic with all these long sleeves and long pants and socks and shoes! To say nothing of being trapped inside all the time!
Second, I'm really hoping my friends decide we are going dancing again tommorrow. I had a blast last time and I think I'll do much better at the whole thing now that I've had time to get good and cozy with it!
I was telling a friend about the whole experience and she pointed out that it was really odd that I relaxed once they pulled me up onto the stage to dance.
I have a few theories. One: I did a decent bit of preforming when I was in middle and highschool. Being on stage is where I first started learning how to conquer my fears. Second: Most of my life has been one giant performance. For years I did everything I could to keep my family/ward convinced that I was just like everybody else. I walked the walk, talked the talk; but I thought a different thought and definately hated walking and talking the way I was expected to. So, maybe I've become so used to presenting a false self that I'm not comfortable letting people see the real me. Like I'm afraid that they've all liked the false face so much that they wont like the real one. I guess its kinda like girls that find themselves without makeup.
I think its likely a combination of both of these things.
Oh, and I've got kids from my pre comp team trying to add me on facebook... I'm not sure if thats a good idea. A little help?
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